I had my baby on October 16, 2017, and I had her without any pain medication. For those of you who do not follow me on social media, you probably were left waiting and wondering. You see, I planned to share my labor and delivery story but every time I recorded it I thought it was boring compared to other stories out there. (If you still would like to hear how it all went down, then please let me know in the comment section below.)
In this post, I want to recap my thoughts and feelings over the months of my pregnancy and then I want to share how things have been going. I guess you can say that I am going to look back over my expectations of a life with two and then the reality of it.
A Life With Two – My Expectations
Before and during the early months of my second pregnancy, I truly thought it would be an amazing but overwhelming experience to have two or more children. I expected that the first years would go similar to the way that my first had. If you have been following me for some time now, then you know that I suffered silently with postpartum depression for a little over 2 years after the birth of my oldest. Once I finally began feeling like “normal”, I vowed that I would be the best mother to my daughter and I was not interested in getting pregnant again.
Our oldest was getting older and every now and then my husband and I considered the idea of growing our family, but I wasn’t completely sold.
Fast forward to me finding out that I was pregnant.
If you saw “My Pregnancy Test Reaction” video then you witnessed my surprise reaction (Click Here if you missed it), but what you didn’t see were the moments after reality hit. I was balling Y’all!
Let me be honest!
I was terrified! I worried that I would go back into that depressive state, that it was going to be way more than I could handle, and that I wouldn’t have enough for two. Simply put I worried that I wouldn’t be enough. Yes, I am a Christian and I do believe children are a gift but I was terrified.
Life With Two – My Reality
On October 16 after about 20 hours of labor, my beautiful girl was born. Her name is Britnee Desiree’ and it was different this time around. Last time, I was so groggy from all of the drugs that I didn’t remember the first 12 hours of my oldest daughters life. This time I was present and I am so happy about that.
I expected things to be so much more complicated and stressful than it turned out to be, but I thank God that it isn’t. Also, I was concerned that I wouldn’t have enough love for two, but again I thank God that I do. Now don’t get me wrong, there are times when I need a break but I have learned my lesson from the first time around. I learned that I can’t do it all and that I will never be Super Mom, so this time I make sure to ask for help. I have also learned to accept help when it is being offered.
Overall, my life as a mother of two is a blessing but at times, I do feel overwhelmed. I intentionally take it one day at a time and I dare not to compare my mothering style with that of other moms.
Surprise! I have already made mistakes. I have found myself already doing some of those things that I promised that I wouldn’t do, but I am just going with it. Also, I find myself tired and short of patience at times which result in a lot more apologies than I ever wanted to give out but that is the life of a not so super mom.
It has only been a month, but I can honestly say that life as a mother of two has been a journey that I am greatly blessed to be on.
Thanks for stopping by and as always stay blessed!